Normalizing hate speech is not cultural progress

Using slurs against people with disabilities isn’t pushing boundaries or reclaiming culture—it’s reinforcing cruelty and ignorance.

Meet Isobel, pictured above with her mom and me. Isobel is one of the funniest, sweetest, most joyful and loving people I've met. She records dance videos on Instagram, is fiercely opinionated, has a boyfriend, loves her family and friends, and leads a full life. Each time we go to England I look forward to seeing Isobel and her family. Isobel is just one reason why this issue is personal for me.

Joe Rogan and Elon Musk, known for dehumanizing language and actions, have crossed a line that should have stayed firmly drawn. Both have recently used the R-word slur and have dismissed the harm it causes. Rogan even went so far as to call the word’s resurgence “one of the great culture victories.”

Let’s be clear: there is no victory here. Only regression.

This Is Not Edgy. It’s Offensive.

The casual reintroduction of a slur into public conversation is not about free speech, humor, or cultural commentary. It’s about cruelty. Recycling a word long recognized as a tool of dehumanization is not daring or subversive. When people use slurs on their huge platforms, they are trying to make mockery acceptable and flaunting the idea that belittling others is a sign of strength or rebellion. It isn’t. It's weakness cloaked in arrogance.

The R-Word Has Always Been a Weapon

I remember the R-word being used as a diagnosis when I took a college special education course in the '80s. Nearly 20 years ago, the American Association on Mental Retardation changed its name to the American Association on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities. In 2008, Special Olympics launched a campaign to combat the use of the "R-word." In 2010, President Obama signed Rosa's Law, replacing the word with "intellectual disability" in federal law. Rosa's Law was inspired by nine year-old Rosa Marcellino, who has Down syndrome.

The R-word has never been harmless. It has been used to bully, isolate, and degrade countless people who are perceived as different.

The cruelty of the R-word doesn’t disappear when it’s disguised or blended into other terms such as "libtard," "conservatard," or just "tard." Its casual use perpetuates the idea that individuals with intellectual disabilities are less than fully human—a toxic belief that still fuels discrimination, exclusion, and violence today.

The People Behind the Word

What’s most tragic about the casual use of the R-word is how it erases the vibrant, meaningful lives of those it targets, like Isobel and anyone who is a little different. Individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities are not medical diagnoses or punchlines. They are athletes, artists, coworkers, advocates, children and siblings, partners, and friends who enrich our communities and families.

They lead full, beautiful lives filled with joy, determination, and love. They compete in Special Olympics, create powerful art, build relationships, work meaningful jobs, and make their communities better places simply by being part of them. Describing them with a slur not only demeans them—it denies their humanity. It erases their accomplishments, their talents, and their right to be seen as whole, worthy people.

Isobel with my son Kieran...last time we saw them in October I was loving the banter between these two!

The Disability Community Has Made It Clear: Stop

People with disabilities have been crystal clear in asking the world to leave the R-word behind. Novie Craven, a Special Olympics athlete and podcast host, says:

"When that word is used, you’re telling the world that people like me don’t belong, can’t achieve, or aren’t worth respect."

Rogan and Musk are not making some grand statement about free expression. They are ignoring the lived experiences and heartfelt pleas of millions of people, choosing mockery over empathy.

This Isn’t About Free Speech; It’s About Human Decency

Choosing not to use slurs isn’t about censorship. It’s about basic human decency. Words reflect our values.

Using a slur sends a clear signal about what—and who—you are willing to disregard.

Standing against hate in our language isn’t weakness; it’s strength. It’s an act of solidarity with those who have been marginalized for far too long.

We Must Do Better

Allowing public figures to reintroduce hateful language without pushback threatens the progress we have fought hard to achieve. It emboldens cruelty and erodes the principles of inclusion and respect.

This isn’t just about calling out Rogan and Musk. It’s about holding ourselves—and each other—accountable for the kind of world we want to live in.

A world where dignity wins over derision.

A world where every person, no matter their abilities, is valued and respected.

The choice is clear: stand for respect—or stand with cruelty. Choose wisely.

We must call out and reject all versions of this hate speech, no matter how “cleverly” disguised. Respect and dignity are never optional.

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